Tonight as I watched the rain slowly fall upon the beautifully white, snow covered backyard I had to smile.

A couple weeks ago I had a complete stranger ask me "how" I do it. I believe she was referring to me having 5 amazing children and I answered "with lots of help." It's true, I have a partner who walks along side me at all times picking up where I leave off and sometimes picking up and taking on it all.

The reason I'm smiling tonight is because I had a wonderful visual as the rain was falling and my mind was racing back to that stranger's question. I promise I'll get to that vision.

I was once a young, single mother. It's not something I think about often or even talk about, but tonight I couldn't help but think of that time. I remember days of getting up early to shower, waking up a sleeping baby, feeding him, and taking him over to his Grandma's house so I could go to my college classes. I would get done, go see him for a bit then have to go to work. I would work late into the night and occasionally get done in time to put him to bed. I would try to collect all my laundry the night before so I could make a run in the morning to the laundry room. The laundry room to my one bedroom home was located in the basement and I would actually have to walk around the outside of the house and down the stairs to enter the basement.

I would sometimes have to bundle up my little guy and put him in the laundry basket to get us all down safely. There were days I would have to try to find enough change in my car or kitchen to buy a roll of toilet paper. Money was scarce. At that time I was working two jobs and my whole paycheck covered rent & groceries and more diapers than I care to count. I would often eat when my little guy went to bed. It was lonely. Really, really lonely.

I loved being a mother but feared I was not very good at it. I felt horrible regret about not spending more time with my little guy. He spent his days playing and napping and knew no different. He was extremely happy and healthy and most days was my only joy. I just felt like I wasn't good enough to be his mom. Did I make the right choices in life for him? I sure tried.

But, the lonely kept creeping in. I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age. Somewhere along the way though I fell into a trap. I forgot how big my God was...that He was there for me waiting to come to Him with all my cares. I was almost ignoring Him. Why? I think I thought I was beyond repair. I was a disappointment. I had made too many wrong choices in life and now was left to fix them.

Over the next 2 years so much was going on in my life. I quit school. Not because I couldn't handle it or my grades were slipping, but simply because I had no idea where I was headed anymore. Growing up I wanted to be a teacher. My Grandma Grace even bought me a "teacher's stool" and grade book for Christmas one year. It was the best! But, as I finished the semester I decided that wasn't for me. So, I quit. I quickly found a job working in the billing department for a local hospital. It was okay, but some pretty unfair working conditions and lack of pay raise caused me to look elsewhere.

I actually got a job right away working for a property management company. It was working out for a while, but then lost that job. I went into panic mode. Some friends of our family soon offered me a job working at their greenhouse. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled. What was supposed to be a short term job turned into two years. I have to admit when it was time for me to leave deep down I really didn't want to. It was at that greenhouse that I got my life back.

Growing up we had a picture that had the poem "Footprints" hanging on one of our walls. If you've never heard of it I encourage you to look it up. It's not entirely accurate but the image is a sweet one. The last few words of it are Jesus saying to the man who thought he was all alone by seeing one set of footprints in the sand during some of the toughest trials as he walked in this vision of his life "...it was then that I carried you."

Wow...
So, tonight as I saw the rain slowly fall and melt a layer of snow just enough that the footprints underneath began to surface it was a great reminder. Seeing those footprints and thinking of that poem put a smile on my face. Where I am today I could only have gotten with the help of my Savior and Heavenly Father carrying me. Just like I mentioned to that stranger in the store that I have lots of help these days, what a joy and comfort to know that with Him anything is possible and he's walking right along side me every step of the way. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. He has already set out my life before me. I need to continue to trust Him to be my guide in ALL I do. What a sweet picture thinking of being in the arms of my faithful Father.

It's a Wonderful Life

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Merry Christmas

So last week wasn't exactly as I pictured it. I thought it was going to be a week of organization, productivity & more festivities and family than our hearts could enjoy, but that was only my vision.

The week began with one sick little girl, then another, then their brother, mom, other brother and dad and finally ended with the big brother. A horrible, nasty stomach bug found it's way into the Laslo house for the first time in 6 years. I'm thankful it took so long because a house full of sick children, in "that" kind of sick way was an experience.

The house got scrubbed and the washing machine was working overtime, and now 8 days later we all seem to be on the mend. We had to put off THREE different Christmas parties. No fun for the kids, but we did get to make one up and have another one tonight. It's been such a long week I'm now just thankful that it seems to be over.

We are thankful too for so many friends and family that sent us messages or called letting us know we were being prayed for. We certainly felt your prayers! I'll be getting pictures of our little Christmas up on the share site in the next couple days. http://www.littlelaslos.shutterfly.com/ . We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas filled with the joy of our Savior's birth.

All I Want for Christmas is My 1 Front Tooth

When Dylan was about 12 months old he was running in front of our townhouse and took a spill. The little bugger learned to walk before he was ten months old and was now learning to run. He sliced his lip open, I cried, then checked his teeth to make sure all 10 of them were still there. They were, PHEW!

A couple days later we were all outside again riding trikes and playing with sidewalk chalk and out of nowhere our little Dylan decided to make a break for it. Once again he tripped over his own two tiny feet and smacked his mouth right on the sidewalk.

After I got him calmed down and cleaned up I took a look inside to make sure we still had all teeth accounted for. Well, the teeth were still there but now his adorable little front tooth had a giant chip in it. I went into crazy mom mode and called every dentist in the suburbs of Chicago tyring to find out what we needed to do. There was no harm to the tooth, just a chip.

We eventually got used to seeing a funny little shaped tooth right smack dab in the front of his mouth. He made it all the way to his 4th birthday before we hit a problem. A routine visit to the dentist discovered that there was a little infection in the root of his chipped tooth. He had actually bumped it pretty good a week or so before and she thinks he may have chipped off a piece too close to the gum. So...it was time for the tooth to come out.

I of course was slightly devastated. Not really, but just the thought of him having a big hole right in the front was going to take some getting used to. Our dentist, by the way, is fantastic. They explained everything to him in words he could understand. He had a "sick" tooth that needed to come out. They let him take home a little nose cover just like the one they were going to use for the nitrous on the day of extraction. They told him he would have some "sleeping juice" for his tooth (the nitrous) and he would get to pick out TWO prizes when he was done.

The day of the procedure I think I was more nervous than he was! Actually, he wasn't nervous at all. It only took about thirty minutes and he came out with his prizes and a small little wooden box that was in the shape of a tooth. Inside it held his itsy bitsy baby tooth. It was really cute.

He was actually so excited that he had "lost" his first tooth. He told everyone that now he "was going to look like a real Blackhawk's player!" It took some getting used to seeing my 4 year old with a giant space in the middle of his mouth, but he makes it all the cuter. Now, we just have to wait 4 years for another one to come in.

Confession

I have a confession. This is something I've known for quite some time now and feel it's time to let you in on a little secret. Here it is: I am not perfect and I do not have it all together. *GASP*

Okay, now if you are reading this and don't know me you are probably rolling your eyes. To those of you who do know me, well, you are probably smiling. It's true...

I am not the perfect wife, mother, daughter, friend and neighbor and I don't put on heels or wear makeup and perfume to pick up my kids from school. Some days I don't even put on pants. Yep...I am perfectly content to grab a pair of running shorts and an old summer soccer t-shirt (which is aging well by-the-way almost 16 years later) and go on about my day.

I've been thinking about something for a few days now. I was out with the kids last week and a complete stranger came up to me and complimented me on my "stylish" attire (actually my pj leggings, winter vest & scarf and boots) and then told me she wondered how I could get all the children out of the house looking like models and how I looked so perfectly put together. I took the compliment but I felt horribly awkward after that. I saw my reflection in the car as I was helping exit children from the car and actually thought to myself "wow, you look like a mess." Strangely, while the compliment was nice, the way it made me feel was not so nice.

I'm not the kind of girl that likes to get noticed. I don't wear anything flashy, over the top or uber trendy. I like to blend. I can still remember while working at the greenhouse, one day I had to go to a school meeting before work. I put on something that I wouldn't normally wear to work, left my hair down, and probably wore a little mascara. When I arrived at work all my coworkers made a comment at one point or another about how I looked "different" today. And, if you ever met any of my coworkers you would know that was a compliment;) I'm a pretty plain girl and that's how I like it.

I continued to think about my fellow shopper's comment the rest of the afternoon. While compliments are nice, this one really struck me. I don't want to give the impression that I feel the need to hold importance to status and have my kids looking like models to impress the world. We really don't have the biggest or best of anything. I want others to know that I am in Christ. I want them to notice it by my actions, by the way I live and the way I interact with them. While I do like to look nice, it's not something I spend hours doing. I believe even my husband would agree;)

These days the kids don't exactly make it easy for me to get ready in the morning. My showers occur mostly in the evenings and by the next morning I throw my hair up and slap on something clean. The only day I actually get to "get ready" is on Sunday morning. A morning shower, dressing up and even possibly a little makeup make it my "fancy" day as Madison calls it.

After the kind strangers comment I really took a look inside myself. While I want to look "nice" I don't want to others to notice me by my outward appearance. I want to be noticed in a different way. I want to present myself in a way the is glorifying to the Lord. Don't get me wrong...I want to take care of myself and my family and *eh hem* keep up on the laundry, but I don't want to parade around showing off the things we own? I want others to know that I care for my family and am teaching my children manners and hopefully the love of Christ in their hearts make them a standout in all they do.
I talked with a friend of mine about this situation. The ever not-so-perfect gal I am, I fell into the trap. I was reminded of the saying "do you go to the phone before going to the throne?" Yep, again not perfect. But, thankfully God has also blessed me with friends who continually point me to Christ and are always there to guide me back to reality when needed. After a good conversation with a great friend on ways to quietly show others who I am and what I stand for I came across this verse:
1 Peter 3:3-5 Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."
THIS is who I want to be. And, through Him I can be. I'll never be perfect and I hope I never give out that vibe, but here I stand (or currently sit) armed with the knowledge of who He wants me to me. What a great lesson to teach my kids. Even the world of a 5 year old is filled with wants/needs to wear a certain type of clothing, have the right shoes (and for a 5 year old it's got to be the same as EVERYONE else.) I just pray that I can teach my kids (and myself) how put on a coat of humility and kindness, love and respect, to everyone we come across and that others will see who we are by our actions, not our clothing, the car we drive or even the house we live in.

I would hope that in the coming weeks, months and years those close to me would see a transformation. Not in my outward appearance but the way I live my life. This season of "holiday hooplah" that's going on all around us doesn't exactly bring out the best in people. I've seen too many examples of the "me" attitude. The "I wants" can quickly consume us but I'm hoping the "how can I serve you" would be the real desire of my heart. I'm not perfect. I don't always act in a way that brings glory to Him and I don't always capitalize on those moments to tell others the truth that is Jesus Christ and why He is my Savior. I want to be noticed first and foremost as a believer and witness to God's amazing transforming power, grace, mercy and love.  To tell  of His truth and how it transforms lives. To tell others that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing...Christ on the lonely cross suffering for MY sins. The story of love and sacrifice and His redeeming love. 

 It's late and I feel I'm starting to ramble. Just thought I'd put some thoughts down to help unwind. Merry Christmas to all!

Beautiful

I was about to help out at Dylan's preschool parade & party last week when I received a voicemail on my BlackBerry. Normally I would not even listen to a voicemail at such a time but I was waiting for an important call from someone I had been trying to get a hold of for weeks. I thought I would listen quickly while the children were getting settled back into their classroom. What I heard on the other line made my heart race a little.

The message was left by Madison's kindergarten teacher and went a little something like this: "Hi Heidi, I'm calling to see if you could please bring another outfit for Madison as soon as possible. There wasn't an accident or any "real" physical harm to her actual clothing, but I think it would be best to bring another outfit and I can explain a bit more in depth when you arrive."

I raced to the car with Mackenzie, drove a few blocks back home, grabbed an outfit and flew back out the door to school. As I got in the car I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I felt like I just knew why I received that call. About a month earlier I went to Kohl's and got a great deal on the cutest purple fleece pant/sweatshirt outfit covered in pink & blue butterflies for Madison. I think with my discount the pair cost me 6 dollars TOTAL! I loved it as did Madi and she simply couldn't wait to wear it! Well, the weather finally started dipping into the 40's at times and I let her wear the new outfit to school. Right after she came down for breakfast that morning Noah asked why Madison was going to wear pajamas to school. I told him it was a new outfit & he then called it beautiful and the conversation was ended.

So as I'm on my way to school so many emotions are ripping through my heart. Silly, I know, but as I drive I was almost in tears. Give me a break, right? I was hurting for my sweet girl and I didn't even know why yet. I just had the feeling from what I gathered from her teacher that someone had hurt her feelings. What else could it be?

I got to school and walked down the hallway to her classroom and as I entered my heart was broken. My big girl was in from recess helping the teacher along with a friend and when our eyes connected I felt her pain immediately. The teacher told me what happened. It was just as I had thought. She was devistated that everyone in her class was telling her she looked like she was in her jammies. All I remember from that morning as she was leaving that she thought she looked positively beautiful! She couldn't wait to show her friends her new clothing. She named a few of her girlfriends and told me they were going to love her new clothes.

As I took her down the hallway to the bathroom I could tell she felt like she was walking the "walk of shame." She scurried timidly in and asked me to quickly help her change. When she was finished we walked back to the classroom and I gave her a hug & kiss and tried not to make a big deal. I told her I loved her and couldn't wait to hear about all the fun things she learned when she got home.

As I got back into the car my heart was breaking. It's never easy to see your child hurting. With tears still in my eyes I drove back to Dylan's school to pick him up. It was a long day for Madison.

Now, almost 2 weeks later, Madison is reminded of that day every morning she gets dressed. We go through about 2-3 outfits each day to find just the right one that could NEVER be confused with pajamas. Each day I try not to let her dwell on it, but she mentions everyday she "hopes nobody laughs at her today."

That evening I sat all the kids down and did an extra little bible lesson. I read from Colossians 3: 12-17. Our lesson as we talked was about loving those who we need to forgive. Even when we are hurting we need to show Christ's love to others, especially those who made us feel this way. Forgiveness. Was I hearing this? Maybe it was more for me than them at that moment. I'm not perfect and my heart was hurting...I did hear it.

Honestly I didn't want to make this a big deal. In my own heart & mind it was. My little girl's heart & spirit were broken. Thankfully she (and I) have a Heavenly Father who heals the broken hearted and binds their wounds.

9/11 (a buried post I thought I posted)

The events that unfolded September 11, 2001 are still very vivid in my mind. I will never forget that day or the men and woman who sacrificed their own lives to protect mine. The sights & sounds we all witnessed through various sources are powerful and I don't want to trivialize that moment in any way, but I want to share about something else that happened on that day in this post.

Five years later on September 11th, 2006 something REALLY joyous happened. Dylan Carter Laslo was born! All 9 lbs. 15 oz. of him. What a sweet blessing we received! I can honestly say our lives are much more exciting, adventurous and entertaining all because of this little boy.

Today he turns four years old! If you've ever met him you know all about him. He is a Chicago Blackhawk fanatic. This is one little boys who eats, sleeps, dreams, plays and lives hockey. His current wardrobe consists of about 90% Hawks attire. Even on the warmest summer day he can be seen sporting his jersey while sweating to death on his bike.

Dylan is really just the sweetest. He loves to hug, snuggle & kiss his Mama all throughout the day. A couple of weeks ago he learned to ride a two-wheeler and he just loves his new freedom. I can't say enough wonderful things about our sweet boy. He's so kind to the kids in his preschool class. He's the oldest one there and he's become a real leader....something this "little" brother doesn't get a chance to do very often at home.

Dylan's always got something funny to say. He keeps us laughing pretty hard. I just love how his little mind works. The vocabulary this four year old has is quite amazing. The other day he told me he thought I should "think long and hard when I go to the grocery store about what I need to purchase so our family can enjoy an abundant dinner." Where does he get this stuff from?

I've got more to post on Dylan along with some pictures about his recent adventure but this post is long overdue so stay tuned!