I'm a Pumpkin...Are You?

Over the last few days as I've watched our pumpkins get eaten and picked at by a plethora of squirrels, I started to see a similarity between myself and the pumpkins.

A pumpkin around Halloween takes on a new form. The pumpkin is picked out, cleaned out, carved and left on it's own to show its face to others. These last few weeks I have started to see a bit of myself in the pumpkin. I was "picked out" by God. He created me and placed me into my family. Over the years I too have needed Him to clean out gross stuff inside me. Along with that 'gross stuff' I had seeds. Just like the pumpkin, sometimes the seeds are harvested for something good and others are tossed out.

With trial and heartache, happiness and joy, the seeds inside me need to be separated. Would they be used and turned into something good, or best left for the garbage? Unlike the pumpkin this choice is left up to me. I can let those seeds be harvested and turned into great things or I can let them be tossed away and just like the pumpkin sometimes I have a carved face. Sometimes it's happy and others probably quite scary. I am guilty of putting on a happy face for others to see even when on the inside I am quite conflicted, unhappy or just plain gross.

As I watch Halloween approach and can see the pumpkin life nearing its end, I know it's just another season. Not only for the pumpkin but for me too. This last month has been a little difficult. Some of the trials and heartache I have had have been some of the toughest on my plate yet. I am thankful for God's grace and the sacrifice of His son. I have had to be honest with myself and others and not just put on my carved face.

I look forward to the future. I want my seeds to be nurtured and harvested and have them grow into something beautiful, something useful...not simply tossed away. Today I am going to do everything I can to change with the season like a pumpkin. The 'old' Heidi needed to die. What will this next season be for me. Hopefully one of forgiveness and grace, humility and thankfulness to my Heavenly father for seeing me through. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I choose to trust and follow Him. I know it's only through Him that I can become a new creation, a new mother, friend, wife and daughter.

Pumpkin Patch

Last weekend we took all the kids to the pumpkin patch. Every year since the kids were born we have gone to a different one. There are SO many around here it's not hard to find one. It is hard on the other hand to find one that's not swamped with people! I guess going two weeks before Halloween on a Sunday doesn't help, but we still had fun.

The biggest hit at the pumpkin patches for our kids is usually the petting zoo. The kids usually spend about 11.5 months talking about holding baby chicks and feeding the livestock. This year the 3 middle kids had no fear. The last few years we have had a least one child slightly freaked about the animals eating right out of their hand.

The little boys each got to ride on an amusement park type car ride while Madison got to ride a real pony. The smile and excitement on her face was worth the 20 minutes we stood in line. She giggled and smiled the entire time. Guess what she wants for Christmas?

Mackenzie enjoyed the day out for a stroll while Brett enjoyed the tractor pulled hayride while munching on some fresh popcorn. The amount of people there was completely ridiculous, but the smells of freshly grilled corn and hot cider were a nice distraction. Thank goodness we already had our pumpkins because with our family of 7, the stroller and bags the car couldn't carry much else.

Over all it was a really beautiful day. The sun was shining and the colors here in Chicago are just beautiful! Today we are expected to hit 70 degrees. Last night a few thunderstorms even rolled in. Fall is here!

Keeping Up Appearences

It always feels great to put on a new outfit. When I was little there was nothing better than getting a new outfit for my birthday or Christmas and wearing it to school for the first time. New shoes were even better! I think since I was able to walk I have always had a slight obsession with shoes. I am not proud of this, but here's a little story to illustrate...

In second grade at the end of the year when everyone was packing up the room to begin summer vacation, I got an idea. I told some of my friends that I was collecting shoes for the homeless. So, I actually got 3 of them to give me their gym shoes (the ones we kept in the classroom.) I proudly took them home and hid them in my room and would wear them whenever I got a chance. My favorite was a pair of red, high-top, Converse All Stars. They were way too big for me but I still loved them. To this day I still can't believe I had done something so awful.

I still love shoes, but have taken the purchasing route instead of theft. I don't even buy myself new shoes that often because I get to buy shoes for 6 other people now. I am amazed at how many shoes we have in this house. I have to clean out our coat closet a couple times a year because we accumulate so many shoes in there. The kids closets also start overflowing during certain points in a season. I have become pretty good at a great system I have though. Every year at Brett's school there is a children's clothing resale in the fall & spring. I can outfit almost every one of my kids for that season for next to nothing. All I do is sell the clothes that they have outgrown and most times even get some money back!

It's always nice when someone comments on your new outfit. The feeling is great. The kids get lots of comments on certain things they are wearing too. At times I almost feel a little uncomfortable. People will say something about how they always look so cute or put together and how we must go broke buying them all such nice things. They don't really mean it, but at the same time I feel slightly guilty. I wish I could explain that rarely do the kids wear something "new" from a store. I wish they could understand without having me tell them I find all the expensive brand name things at the resale...that I let someone else buy them full price.

In a way I really feel embarrassed. I don't want others to think I am out looking for the best or spending all our money on clothing and shoes. It simply isn't the case. In a world where society is constantly telling us (and our children) that we need the best, newest, most expensive things, I find it a little sick. I am not saying that we don't buy new things or nice things, but I don't think we are a family that is out to impress.

I do like my children to look nice. I love matching outfits, big colorful bows for the girls and polos on little boys. I don't dress them that way so they look perfectly put together. I do it because I feel like when you look your best you show you care. I do understand that some people can't always put on something that doesn't have holes, stains or even something that fits properly. I love seeing people buy our clothes at the sales, knowing that someone else can use the things that we've outgrown. It's really quite amazing the things and quantities that people buy at the sale. This year at the resale i actually saw a family fill an entire shopping cart overflowing and they only spent around $150!

I can only hope and pray that none of my kids is a kleptomaniac like I was.

All Grown Up

It's amazing how fast 3 months has flown by! Mackenzie is 3 months today! It feels like just yesterday we were taking home our "little peanut" from the hospital. What a little sweetheart she is and a great addition to the Laslo family.

She now sleeps in a big crib in Madison's room. Madison has been dreaming since before she was born to have a sister to share her room with so of course she is thrilled! Mackenzie has been sleeping through the night since about 3 weeks old so now that we finally got the crib up and into Madi's room they are roommates. It's been a little bit of a chore for me to keep the other kids away from it. For some reason it's like a magnet to children. A fortress, tent and house of sorts to all kinds of toys, animals and children.

Yesterday Dylan came up to me with a very determined look on his face as said "Mom, when I grow up I am going to still love you." I thanked him and told him that when he grows up I will love him too. He then proceeded to tell me "...even when I am a police officer and I arrest you?" So I told him if there is cause to arrest me I will still love him.

It's funny how kids have to be taught that there are no stipulations on your love. They will often get upset after they have done something and at this point we always reassure them how much we love them and that whatever they were doing was probably just not good for them or someone else.

As a mom I feel that one of my most important jobs is to show them love. It's not always easy, especially when there is ketchup all of the floor, or an "accident" on the carpet or even crayon all over the couch, but it's so important. Even when the craziness that is our life seems to overwhelm me, I need to remember to show them God's face, not my own, and teach them by example of God's grace and everlasting love.

These days go by all too fast. Brett is only about 6 inches shorter than I am and his feet are already the same size. I can still remember when he was learning to walk with those little feet. There was actually a time when I needed to use suspenders to hold up his little pants on his skinny little frame. Those days are long gone. While he is still my "little" boy he is growing up. It's not easy as a mom when you begin to see that your children no longer need to rely fully on you. Even Madison, Noah & Dylan don't need help getting dressed or brushing their teeth anymore. They can make their beds (in their own weird way) and clean up a toy room disaster all by themselves. While it's great that they can do these things and are becoming independent little people, it's hard because those things have been my responsibility and talking care of them my purpose for so long. I guess I am entering a new season in life here and will need to learn a new way to "mama."

I can't say enough how much I love my kids. I love their up and downs, their quirky personalities, and especially their hugs and kisses. I wish I could freeze some of these moments forever...(and fast forward through a few) and always remember them just as they were.

Picture Albums

A few weeks ago I started a shutterfly share site so you will now be able to view some pictures!

http://littlelaslos.shutterfly.com/

Hope you enjoy!

Talents

Today I had one of those moments where you can actually flash back to a time (in my case...20 years) and remember something so vividly that it seems almost unreal. I was watching Brett draw at our kitchen table and suddenly, out of nowhere, remembered a time when I was sitting at my kitchen table as a young girl drawing something very similar. It's really quite scary because his drawing style is very much like mine was too.

As I sat near him watching him draw (and erase;) it made me think about how important it is to encourage these talents and gifts in each of my children. As a young girl I was very hard on myself. I felt things need to be perfect when complete. No matter what I was doing; drawing, painting, or even my hair needed to look like a perfect piece of art. Thankfully, my family was always there to encourage me and help me get past my obscure visions.

As my children get older I am so excited to see each of their interests (and sometimes obsessions) change and grow. Madison seems to be our next little artist. She is only 4 but can draw almost anything she sees and it looks pretty recognizable. Noah can figure out almost anything if it comes with picture instructions. He loves to get a new building set and go through all the possibilities of a new structure. These days Dylan, who just turned 3, is surprising me with his memorization and his close attention to detail. he reminds me SO much of Brett when he was little. Dylan's memory is really amazing. Just the other day he surprised me when he told me he remembered a verse he learned last year at church...and he really did!


It's SO so so so important to let them know when they are doing a great job at something. Even at this early age of 3 and 4 they are already telling me "no I'm not... or It's not good..." and I want them to not be discouraged but keep trying.


I have a letter that my grandma wrote to me back in April 1993. It was a letter I received when she passed away in 1996. I was 13 at the time she wrote the letter. A little of it read:

"You have been given many talents and I hope you use them to glorify Him...Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great! Remember we all make mistakes but we must also learn from them. You are such a delight and joy. Shine."

I guess I wasn't the only one who knew I was so hard on myself. I am trying my best these days to let my children know how much I value them. I want them to know that when weather they are coloring a picture, have helped out setting the table, or a learning to ride a bike that I think their effort is great.

Brett recently started playing the Oboe. For most people it is very hard to pick up an instrument and play...especially for the first time. He tried and tried and just couldn't even make a sound. Then, finally he did! It sounded horrible and made me cringe, but I smiled through it. Most things for Brett come so easily. He excels in school and a lot of this comes so naturally and easily for him. Not the Oboe. He practiced for hours the first couple days and even broke down at one point. This was something that was going to take some work. I don't like to use the phrase "practice makes perfect" so around here we use another one "Practice makes progress"...a phrase I had to come up with. He is seeing some progress now. To be honest it still sounds like some kind of water foul in dying upstairs between 3:30-4:00 each afternoon, but I just love his determination. As much as I was rooting for him to choose a trumpet or trombone...I will continue to encourage this new talent.

I have to remember some days that my children are little and can't always do the tasks I give them as well as I would like, but they are doing their best and trying hard. I can't wait to see the talents and gifts they have grow. So today, I will do everything I can to nurture them and encourage them to always do their best.

Fall is Here

I think I am in slight denial that the calendar already reads October 10th! I have to say that fall is one of the most beautiful times of year around here. The colors, smells and flowers are some of my personal favorites. I do not however, love what comes next...winter. For some reason just the mere thought of winter in Chicago takes away a little of my joy in fall because I know what is to come.


With Halloween just around the corner, I have been asking the kids what they are thinking of for costumes. I had some pretty interesting suggestions early on. Dylan wanted to be a giant soccer sock. Yep, a giant sock. I had no idea how I was going to pull that one off but lucky for me now he wants to be a fire fighter. I can do that. Madison without a doubt will be a princess. Noah currently wants to be a rock star (but he regularly changes his mind) and Brett wants to be a ninja or medieval knight. This year our littlest Laslo baby is going to be heading out with us all dressed to impress in her little costume. I can't wait to see her in it!


Fall is also the time of year when work begins to slow down for James and we look forward to many fun family weekends. Every year we love taking the kids to a pumpkin patch. This year we won't have to buy any pumpkins because James "grew" some down at the parking lot this year and already picked them. The kids are super excited to carve them!


We also have two weddings in the next two weeks. One is my cousin Erin, and the other is one of best friends, Katherine. I can't wait! I love weddings. I have been to a few in the last couple months and think there is no better way to spend my day than to attend a wedding filled with so much love, hope and promises. I think there is no more beautiful sight than a bride walking toward her groom.

Fall also means that I must again spend endless hours upstairs in the kids rooms packing away all the spring/summer clothing to make room for fall/winter items. With five children this year it's proving to be quite the project. I have piles and rubbermaids lining the hallway. James and I each have our own walk in closets so I never have to worry about our stuff because there is plenty of room. Brett has his own walk in too, but between the games, bookshelves and collectibles he doesn't have much room left over. It always seems like on a daily basis I am constantly searching for an outfit for each kid to wear...now I look at it all and wonder where it all came from! How could I NOT find one?!

Well, hopefully sometime this week I can fill my garden and pots with some beautiful fall foliage. Time to go find all my harvest decor and see how long it takes for the kids to find it and pull it all apart...they can't seem to keep their hands off decorations.

Hotel for Dogs

The other night after all the little kids were in bed and James was at a meeting, Brett and I decided to have a movie night. Normally we would rent a movie from Red Box (where you can rent a movie for only $1) but since I was home alone with all the kids in bed, we decided to order one off of the On Demand. I am still in awe how they can charge $5 for a movie, but that night we went in for the splurge.

After the popcorn was popped and the two of us settled in on our respective couches we were set to watch our new release. Hotel for Dogs was our choice. I had heard some really good things about the movie. These days you can never be sure what you are in for even with a children's movie with a rating of PG. The language that people are excepting of these days is sometimes ridiculous. As parents James and I do all we can to safeguard our kids from bad language, but it seems to even pop up in the cartoons now. This particular movie had the Lord's name taken in vain a few times. If it was a movie our littler kids were watching I would have shut it off, but since it was Brett, I feel and know I can talk to him about it.

Without giving any of the movie away...(the title already does that;) the story was about a place for stray dogs. Throughout the movie stray dogs were being held captive in different ways for not belonging to someone. Two children who happened to be orphans were spending their time trying to 'save' these very dogs. The dogs were from all different areas of life. Some were old, young, dirty, "ugly," large and small. Animal services was continually coming to capture them and take them to the pound because they didn't belong to anyone.

Long story short, these dogs had found an old abandoned hotel to stay in. It was a place where they looked after one another. A place they could come and be accepted. None of the dogs turned another dog away because of size, breed, or cleanliness. They protected each other. As I watched this movie I suddenly became aware that I was re-learning a message I have heard over and over. God feels the same way about us. He never turns any of us away because of race, color, gender or social status. He tells us to come as we are. Many of us are broken, lost and have 'ugly' hearts.

While watching this film so many thoughts were swirling around in my head. I know I have a responsibility also to love others above myself, to be accepting of them, to care for them. I have the responsibility to teach them about Christ and let them know there is a place called Heaven. They are welcome there if they choose to follow Christ and accept Him into their hearts. Just like the dogs, we should always be longing for rest and a home. Rest in our faithful Savior Jesus and an eternal home in Heaven.

Too often I think I look at others who have little, are not (as clean) as me, are lonely or maybe even have some sort of physical problem and I do not love them like I should. I look at them like they are different and I don't always want to engage with them. God does the exact opposite. He accepts all those who come to Him in the name of His son. He loves with an everlasting love, He cares without stipulations and He still loves me despite of all He knows of me!

The end of the movie has a very happy ending. I cried. Yes, I cried at the end of the children's movie Hotel for Dogs. I just felt it had a beautiful message and sweet ending. Brett and I enjoyed the movie and some time together. I am so thankful for the young man he is becoming. I think I am most thankful that he still enjoys spending some time with his mama.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

As I was getting all the ingredients together for the kids to make their own pizzas yesterday Dylan came and told me the silliest thing. He said "Mom, can I go outside and catch a real live spider to put on my pizza?" I asked him if he was sure because he certainly didn't have a smile on his face which would have lead me to believe that he was just joking. He had a very sure look on his face and asked again. After I finally said 'no' he looked at me and said "you know I'm just kiddin' ya?"

After making our own pizzas the kids and I cleaned up and started to play with some new toys Grandma brought over from the resale. One was this fabulous little doll set that came with different squares of various fabrics to dress her up in. Even the boys were in on it! At one point we were all being really silly and I asked Madison if she liked my girly I dressed. She looked over at me and said "break it down girl!" I could NOT stop laughing! I have no idea where she got that phrase and the attitude that cam along with it was hilarious!

Just this morning, after all the kids came down and piled on the couch for their morning cartoon, I asked them all what I should put on for them. Noah looked up at me and said " probably the news, bc if we don't watch it we won't know if there is going to be a sunshine or a cloud today. " I guess that's pretty observant. I do usually flick on the weather channel in the a.m. to see the days local forecast. But, all of a sudden Dylan looked at me and pleaded NOT to turn the news on. After I reassured him if would be for only a minute, he looked at me and said "but what if we see the raindrops? Then we can't go out and play!" Somehow in his little mind he thought by not looking at the weather maybe we could keep the rain away by ignoring it.

Some days I think I don't smile enough. It's in some of these (not so rare) precious moments that I realize what is important. It's not the laundry, the bills or preparing a perfect meal...it's teaching my kids by example and seeing the world through there eyes. It's those times that a smile will usually appear. I sometimes even laugh so hard tears stroll down my face. It worries the kids but I reassure them it's only because they make me so happy. A few weeks ago I was singing some songs with the kids. We sang the B-I-B-L-E, then we make up our own song also spelling out a word. The word was 'happy.' Noah asked me how to spell it and when I did I had three little children in stitches. The reason why? Well, when you say the letters that spell out 'happy' you must say " P-P." They thought it was pretty funny that I said that;) It doesn't take much to entertain little kids...

These five beautiful children I call mine actually belong to God. They are on loan to me. I need to remember this most days. I need to also remember to show them the love that their heavenly father has for them. That they would not see my face, but His when they look at me.

I thank the Lord everyday for Brett Michael, Madison Grace, Noah James, Dylan Carter and Mackenzie Kate. I feel so blessed to be their mom.