Tonight as I watched the rain slowly fall upon the beautifully white, snow covered backyard I had to smile.

A couple weeks ago I had a complete stranger ask me "how" I do it. I believe she was referring to me having 5 amazing children and I answered "with lots of help." It's true, I have a partner who walks along side me at all times picking up where I leave off and sometimes picking up and taking on it all.

The reason I'm smiling tonight is because I had a wonderful visual as the rain was falling and my mind was racing back to that stranger's question. I promise I'll get to that vision.

I was once a young, single mother. It's not something I think about often or even talk about, but tonight I couldn't help but think of that time. I remember days of getting up early to shower, waking up a sleeping baby, feeding him, and taking him over to his Grandma's house so I could go to my college classes. I would get done, go see him for a bit then have to go to work. I would work late into the night and occasionally get done in time to put him to bed. I would try to collect all my laundry the night before so I could make a run in the morning to the laundry room. The laundry room to my one bedroom home was located in the basement and I would actually have to walk around the outside of the house and down the stairs to enter the basement.

I would sometimes have to bundle up my little guy and put him in the laundry basket to get us all down safely. There were days I would have to try to find enough change in my car or kitchen to buy a roll of toilet paper. Money was scarce. At that time I was working two jobs and my whole paycheck covered rent & groceries and more diapers than I care to count. I would often eat when my little guy went to bed. It was lonely. Really, really lonely.

I loved being a mother but feared I was not very good at it. I felt horrible regret about not spending more time with my little guy. He spent his days playing and napping and knew no different. He was extremely happy and healthy and most days was my only joy. I just felt like I wasn't good enough to be his mom. Did I make the right choices in life for him? I sure tried.

But, the lonely kept creeping in. I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age. Somewhere along the way though I fell into a trap. I forgot how big my God was...that He was there for me waiting to come to Him with all my cares. I was almost ignoring Him. Why? I think I thought I was beyond repair. I was a disappointment. I had made too many wrong choices in life and now was left to fix them.

Over the next 2 years so much was going on in my life. I quit school. Not because I couldn't handle it or my grades were slipping, but simply because I had no idea where I was headed anymore. Growing up I wanted to be a teacher. My Grandma Grace even bought me a "teacher's stool" and grade book for Christmas one year. It was the best! But, as I finished the semester I decided that wasn't for me. So, I quit. I quickly found a job working in the billing department for a local hospital. It was okay, but some pretty unfair working conditions and lack of pay raise caused me to look elsewhere.

I actually got a job right away working for a property management company. It was working out for a while, but then lost that job. I went into panic mode. Some friends of our family soon offered me a job working at their greenhouse. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled. What was supposed to be a short term job turned into two years. I have to admit when it was time for me to leave deep down I really didn't want to. It was at that greenhouse that I got my life back.

Growing up we had a picture that had the poem "Footprints" hanging on one of our walls. If you've never heard of it I encourage you to look it up. It's not entirely accurate but the image is a sweet one. The last few words of it are Jesus saying to the man who thought he was all alone by seeing one set of footprints in the sand during some of the toughest trials as he walked in this vision of his life "...it was then that I carried you."

Wow...
So, tonight as I saw the rain slowly fall and melt a layer of snow just enough that the footprints underneath began to surface it was a great reminder. Seeing those footprints and thinking of that poem put a smile on my face. Where I am today I could only have gotten with the help of my Savior and Heavenly Father carrying me. Just like I mentioned to that stranger in the store that I have lots of help these days, what a joy and comfort to know that with Him anything is possible and he's walking right along side me every step of the way. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. He has already set out my life before me. I need to continue to trust Him to be my guide in ALL I do. What a sweet picture thinking of being in the arms of my faithful Father.

It's a Wonderful Life

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Merry Christmas

So last week wasn't exactly as I pictured it. I thought it was going to be a week of organization, productivity & more festivities and family than our hearts could enjoy, but that was only my vision.

The week began with one sick little girl, then another, then their brother, mom, other brother and dad and finally ended with the big brother. A horrible, nasty stomach bug found it's way into the Laslo house for the first time in 6 years. I'm thankful it took so long because a house full of sick children, in "that" kind of sick way was an experience.

The house got scrubbed and the washing machine was working overtime, and now 8 days later we all seem to be on the mend. We had to put off THREE different Christmas parties. No fun for the kids, but we did get to make one up and have another one tonight. It's been such a long week I'm now just thankful that it seems to be over.

We are thankful too for so many friends and family that sent us messages or called letting us know we were being prayed for. We certainly felt your prayers! I'll be getting pictures of our little Christmas up on the share site in the next couple days. http://www.littlelaslos.shutterfly.com/ . We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas filled with the joy of our Savior's birth.

All I Want for Christmas is My 1 Front Tooth

When Dylan was about 12 months old he was running in front of our townhouse and took a spill. The little bugger learned to walk before he was ten months old and was now learning to run. He sliced his lip open, I cried, then checked his teeth to make sure all 10 of them were still there. They were, PHEW!

A couple days later we were all outside again riding trikes and playing with sidewalk chalk and out of nowhere our little Dylan decided to make a break for it. Once again he tripped over his own two tiny feet and smacked his mouth right on the sidewalk.

After I got him calmed down and cleaned up I took a look inside to make sure we still had all teeth accounted for. Well, the teeth were still there but now his adorable little front tooth had a giant chip in it. I went into crazy mom mode and called every dentist in the suburbs of Chicago tyring to find out what we needed to do. There was no harm to the tooth, just a chip.

We eventually got used to seeing a funny little shaped tooth right smack dab in the front of his mouth. He made it all the way to his 4th birthday before we hit a problem. A routine visit to the dentist discovered that there was a little infection in the root of his chipped tooth. He had actually bumped it pretty good a week or so before and she thinks he may have chipped off a piece too close to the gum. So...it was time for the tooth to come out.

I of course was slightly devastated. Not really, but just the thought of him having a big hole right in the front was going to take some getting used to. Our dentist, by the way, is fantastic. They explained everything to him in words he could understand. He had a "sick" tooth that needed to come out. They let him take home a little nose cover just like the one they were going to use for the nitrous on the day of extraction. They told him he would have some "sleeping juice" for his tooth (the nitrous) and he would get to pick out TWO prizes when he was done.

The day of the procedure I think I was more nervous than he was! Actually, he wasn't nervous at all. It only took about thirty minutes and he came out with his prizes and a small little wooden box that was in the shape of a tooth. Inside it held his itsy bitsy baby tooth. It was really cute.

He was actually so excited that he had "lost" his first tooth. He told everyone that now he "was going to look like a real Blackhawk's player!" It took some getting used to seeing my 4 year old with a giant space in the middle of his mouth, but he makes it all the cuter. Now, we just have to wait 4 years for another one to come in.

Confession

I have a confession. This is something I've known for quite some time now and feel it's time to let you in on a little secret. Here it is: I am not perfect and I do not have it all together. *GASP*

Okay, now if you are reading this and don't know me you are probably rolling your eyes. To those of you who do know me, well, you are probably smiling. It's true...

I am not the perfect wife, mother, daughter, friend and neighbor and I don't put on heels or wear makeup and perfume to pick up my kids from school. Some days I don't even put on pants. Yep...I am perfectly content to grab a pair of running shorts and an old summer soccer t-shirt (which is aging well by-the-way almost 16 years later) and go on about my day.

I've been thinking about something for a few days now. I was out with the kids last week and a complete stranger came up to me and complimented me on my "stylish" attire (actually my pj leggings, winter vest & scarf and boots) and then told me she wondered how I could get all the children out of the house looking like models and how I looked so perfectly put together. I took the compliment but I felt horribly awkward after that. I saw my reflection in the car as I was helping exit children from the car and actually thought to myself "wow, you look like a mess." Strangely, while the compliment was nice, the way it made me feel was not so nice.

I'm not the kind of girl that likes to get noticed. I don't wear anything flashy, over the top or uber trendy. I like to blend. I can still remember while working at the greenhouse, one day I had to go to a school meeting before work. I put on something that I wouldn't normally wear to work, left my hair down, and probably wore a little mascara. When I arrived at work all my coworkers made a comment at one point or another about how I looked "different" today. And, if you ever met any of my coworkers you would know that was a compliment;) I'm a pretty plain girl and that's how I like it.

I continued to think about my fellow shopper's comment the rest of the afternoon. While compliments are nice, this one really struck me. I don't want to give the impression that I feel the need to hold importance to status and have my kids looking like models to impress the world. We really don't have the biggest or best of anything. I want others to know that I am in Christ. I want them to notice it by my actions, by the way I live and the way I interact with them. While I do like to look nice, it's not something I spend hours doing. I believe even my husband would agree;)

These days the kids don't exactly make it easy for me to get ready in the morning. My showers occur mostly in the evenings and by the next morning I throw my hair up and slap on something clean. The only day I actually get to "get ready" is on Sunday morning. A morning shower, dressing up and even possibly a little makeup make it my "fancy" day as Madison calls it.

After the kind strangers comment I really took a look inside myself. While I want to look "nice" I don't want to others to notice me by my outward appearance. I want to be noticed in a different way. I want to present myself in a way the is glorifying to the Lord. Don't get me wrong...I want to take care of myself and my family and *eh hem* keep up on the laundry, but I don't want to parade around showing off the things we own? I want others to know that I care for my family and am teaching my children manners and hopefully the love of Christ in their hearts make them a standout in all they do.
I talked with a friend of mine about this situation. The ever not-so-perfect gal I am, I fell into the trap. I was reminded of the saying "do you go to the phone before going to the throne?" Yep, again not perfect. But, thankfully God has also blessed me with friends who continually point me to Christ and are always there to guide me back to reality when needed. After a good conversation with a great friend on ways to quietly show others who I am and what I stand for I came across this verse:
1 Peter 3:3-5 Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."
THIS is who I want to be. And, through Him I can be. I'll never be perfect and I hope I never give out that vibe, but here I stand (or currently sit) armed with the knowledge of who He wants me to me. What a great lesson to teach my kids. Even the world of a 5 year old is filled with wants/needs to wear a certain type of clothing, have the right shoes (and for a 5 year old it's got to be the same as EVERYONE else.) I just pray that I can teach my kids (and myself) how put on a coat of humility and kindness, love and respect, to everyone we come across and that others will see who we are by our actions, not our clothing, the car we drive or even the house we live in.

I would hope that in the coming weeks, months and years those close to me would see a transformation. Not in my outward appearance but the way I live my life. This season of "holiday hooplah" that's going on all around us doesn't exactly bring out the best in people. I've seen too many examples of the "me" attitude. The "I wants" can quickly consume us but I'm hoping the "how can I serve you" would be the real desire of my heart. I'm not perfect. I don't always act in a way that brings glory to Him and I don't always capitalize on those moments to tell others the truth that is Jesus Christ and why He is my Savior. I want to be noticed first and foremost as a believer and witness to God's amazing transforming power, grace, mercy and love.  To tell  of His truth and how it transforms lives. To tell others that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing...Christ on the lonely cross suffering for MY sins. The story of love and sacrifice and His redeeming love. 

 It's late and I feel I'm starting to ramble. Just thought I'd put some thoughts down to help unwind. Merry Christmas to all!

Beautiful

I was about to help out at Dylan's preschool parade & party last week when I received a voicemail on my BlackBerry. Normally I would not even listen to a voicemail at such a time but I was waiting for an important call from someone I had been trying to get a hold of for weeks. I thought I would listen quickly while the children were getting settled back into their classroom. What I heard on the other line made my heart race a little.

The message was left by Madison's kindergarten teacher and went a little something like this: "Hi Heidi, I'm calling to see if you could please bring another outfit for Madison as soon as possible. There wasn't an accident or any "real" physical harm to her actual clothing, but I think it would be best to bring another outfit and I can explain a bit more in depth when you arrive."

I raced to the car with Mackenzie, drove a few blocks back home, grabbed an outfit and flew back out the door to school. As I got in the car I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I felt like I just knew why I received that call. About a month earlier I went to Kohl's and got a great deal on the cutest purple fleece pant/sweatshirt outfit covered in pink & blue butterflies for Madison. I think with my discount the pair cost me 6 dollars TOTAL! I loved it as did Madi and she simply couldn't wait to wear it! Well, the weather finally started dipping into the 40's at times and I let her wear the new outfit to school. Right after she came down for breakfast that morning Noah asked why Madison was going to wear pajamas to school. I told him it was a new outfit & he then called it beautiful and the conversation was ended.

So as I'm on my way to school so many emotions are ripping through my heart. Silly, I know, but as I drive I was almost in tears. Give me a break, right? I was hurting for my sweet girl and I didn't even know why yet. I just had the feeling from what I gathered from her teacher that someone had hurt her feelings. What else could it be?

I got to school and walked down the hallway to her classroom and as I entered my heart was broken. My big girl was in from recess helping the teacher along with a friend and when our eyes connected I felt her pain immediately. The teacher told me what happened. It was just as I had thought. She was devistated that everyone in her class was telling her she looked like she was in her jammies. All I remember from that morning as she was leaving that she thought she looked positively beautiful! She couldn't wait to show her friends her new clothing. She named a few of her girlfriends and told me they were going to love her new clothes.

As I took her down the hallway to the bathroom I could tell she felt like she was walking the "walk of shame." She scurried timidly in and asked me to quickly help her change. When she was finished we walked back to the classroom and I gave her a hug & kiss and tried not to make a big deal. I told her I loved her and couldn't wait to hear about all the fun things she learned when she got home.

As I got back into the car my heart was breaking. It's never easy to see your child hurting. With tears still in my eyes I drove back to Dylan's school to pick him up. It was a long day for Madison.

Now, almost 2 weeks later, Madison is reminded of that day every morning she gets dressed. We go through about 2-3 outfits each day to find just the right one that could NEVER be confused with pajamas. Each day I try not to let her dwell on it, but she mentions everyday she "hopes nobody laughs at her today."

That evening I sat all the kids down and did an extra little bible lesson. I read from Colossians 3: 12-17. Our lesson as we talked was about loving those who we need to forgive. Even when we are hurting we need to show Christ's love to others, especially those who made us feel this way. Forgiveness. Was I hearing this? Maybe it was more for me than them at that moment. I'm not perfect and my heart was hurting...I did hear it.

Honestly I didn't want to make this a big deal. In my own heart & mind it was. My little girl's heart & spirit were broken. Thankfully she (and I) have a Heavenly Father who heals the broken hearted and binds their wounds.

9/11 (a buried post I thought I posted)

The events that unfolded September 11, 2001 are still very vivid in my mind. I will never forget that day or the men and woman who sacrificed their own lives to protect mine. The sights & sounds we all witnessed through various sources are powerful and I don't want to trivialize that moment in any way, but I want to share about something else that happened on that day in this post.

Five years later on September 11th, 2006 something REALLY joyous happened. Dylan Carter Laslo was born! All 9 lbs. 15 oz. of him. What a sweet blessing we received! I can honestly say our lives are much more exciting, adventurous and entertaining all because of this little boy.

Today he turns four years old! If you've ever met him you know all about him. He is a Chicago Blackhawk fanatic. This is one little boys who eats, sleeps, dreams, plays and lives hockey. His current wardrobe consists of about 90% Hawks attire. Even on the warmest summer day he can be seen sporting his jersey while sweating to death on his bike.

Dylan is really just the sweetest. He loves to hug, snuggle & kiss his Mama all throughout the day. A couple of weeks ago he learned to ride a two-wheeler and he just loves his new freedom. I can't say enough wonderful things about our sweet boy. He's so kind to the kids in his preschool class. He's the oldest one there and he's become a real leader....something this "little" brother doesn't get a chance to do very often at home.

Dylan's always got something funny to say. He keeps us laughing pretty hard. I just love how his little mind works. The vocabulary this four year old has is quite amazing. The other day he told me he thought I should "think long and hard when I go to the grocery store about what I need to purchase so our family can enjoy an abundant dinner." Where does he get this stuff from?

I've got more to post on Dylan along with some pictures about his recent adventure but this post is long overdue so stay tuned!

Soccer Mom

I faked left, dribbled right, then headed to the net for a goal. There were no spectators cheering loudly in the bleachers and the only remnants of people was their trash blowing across an empty field. I can vaguely remember when the ball seemed lighter; when there weren't so many expectations. But, that was back when I wore a turtle neck under my jersey and pig tails in my hair. Those days are long gone.

I spent a good portion of my childhood playing soccer. I ate, slept & dreamt it. I was always told I had so many gifts but this one seemed to really take off. I wasn't the one who always got the straight A's in school, but when I stepped onto the field and played the game others took notice. That's what mattered most to me. I guess if I am being honest, growing up I felt my worth was in that game.

I had a special friend in school who seemed to always be on my team. The two of us made a perfect pair. She was phenomenal, really. I learned so much from her. Our freshman year of high school we had this crazy idea to try out for the boys team because our school didn't have a girls program...yet. It wasn't easy. Our coach didn't praise us very much and gave us the feeling we really weren't welcome. We didn't get much playing time but we did learn something...it wasn't a hit with some of our peers either. Long story short the season ended and so did the semester. She moved across the country and I had the unique opportunity to transfer schools.

Transferring in the middle of year wasn't easy. I moved from a school with roughly 425 students with one hallway to one that had over 1800 and 3 stories. I was lost. I did quickly make a few friends and couldn't wait until soccer season.

Well, it came. There was a definite division between players, new and old. It was a really strange dynamic but I soon found my place. I met an amazing group of girls through my experience. Recently I've even had the pleasure of reconnecting with many of them. It's fun to see where we all are today.

Today? I'm a soccer mom. I remember when Brett was old enough to play. I couldn't wait to get him on a team! He loved the game so much. His very first game he scored a goal. I was one proud Mama. Well, 7 years later and he's turned into quite the player. His new favorite position is goalie and he's really been doing a fantastic job. Brett's got a great kick. He also loves forward. He quick when he wants to be and I think he's scored at least one goal per game this season. This year he's on a co-ed team. I have to say, I love it! The boys at this age don't communicate very well. The girls on the other hand...do! They can often be heard encouraging each other and the boys. I've never heard a little boy do that. Must be something in their make-up.

The other day I remembered something. Back when Brett was almost one his grandpa took him Christmas shopping. What did I get? Oh, a bright, fluorescent pink baseball cap. In black block letters it read "Brett's Mom." I am going to go search for it in a couple minutes. Be on the look out for pictures;)

Madison & Noah have also been enjoying their first year of soccer. I have to admit, the first week I almost peed in my pants from laughing so hard at Madison. As aggressive and physical as she is with her brothers when it comes to playing with other kids she takes a bit of a back seat. Every time the ball came close to her she would actually run around it and let someone else get it and at one point she was actually running in place so she wouldn't be the first one to the ball. Each week she's getting better and better.

Noah was a bit aggressive from day one. He has to be reminded about pushing. He's not trying to hurt any of the other kids but MAN this child is focused on the goal! He's had a few goals this season so far too. Our Saturday mornings sure are busy but SO fun. I just love watching them have a blast! The kids love their big audience. Grandma & Papa, Grandma & Grandpa L. and Auntie Lisa are usually cheering them on too. What a fun fall we've had so far.

Ready or Not, Mom

I have been looking forward to this day for almost five years now and it's hard for this Mama to believe that it's already here. Tomorrow my two precious babies will leave on a Timothy Christian School bus for their very first day of kindergarten.

I think somewhere in my mind, over the years, I thought I would be writing that very paragraph with exclamation points on the end...at this very moment those points are a bit more mute.

This day is really something special for the Madison & Noah. It's also going to be a day of many firsts for the two of them. They are entering into full day kindergarten in two different classes. Madison and Noah have spent nearly their entire five years together. As different as they are, the bond between them is very strong. They shared a womb, a tiny bassinet, a crib, a room and now they will be separate most of their day. My two sweet ones who turned five this past spring are blossoming into the neatest little people.

I can still remember bringing them home from the hospital. For literally weeks I had a team of people coming over to help me feed, burp, bathe, cloth, hold and rock my newborn twins. To be honest at the time I'm sure I was thinking that none of us would even make it another day. But, God's grace is sufficient. I found that out first hand. He truly never gives us more than we can handle. And hour by hour, day by day, we all made it to this day.

I'm so proud of who my babies have become. Madison is such a girly girl. She loves to serve others any way she can. She loves manicures, small animals and sports. Madison also has the cutest little laugh. She can make herself giggle uncontrollably and it's really quite contagious. Noah is mesmerized by numbers. He will count and add any numbers he comes across. He's a worker. He loves to help do anything we title "work." Noah has the kindest heart and especially a love for his Jesus. No prayer is ever complete without him saying "and I love you, Jesus...and you love me."

So here I sit. All one million forms have been filled out and there are an equal number of checks to go with them. The backpacks are all lined up, lunches made and outfits all laid out for morning. So, here...I...sit. Hoping that by staying up late I can prolong the evening and push first thing tomorrow off a bit, Deep down I know it's not going to work.

Everyone always told me I'd be sad when this actually came and I've stuck my nose in the air at some who have gone before when they cried as their little ones boarded that bus. I keep wondering what is going on with me?! I've been through this already! Brett is now in 6th grade. I've been sending a child off to school each fall for the last 6 years!

It's been my joy, privilege and responsibility to be raising so many little ones for a few years now I think maybe I won't know what to do with only two....one of whom takes a 3 hour nap each day! It's going to be an adjustment for all of us that's for sure. I know it may not sound like it but I am so happy and excited for Madison & Noah to experience everything there is out there for them. What a blessing it is also to know they are going to be given even more tools to lead a Christ centered life. The teachers and faculty at TCS pour so much love and devotion into raising and preparing young hearts that are on fire for the Lord.

I can't wait to hear EVERYTHING about their first day!

Grandpa

Back in August of 2002 I met a man named Leon C. Pullen. He was James Grandpa. From the minute I met him I knew he was something special. He was in his late 80's but a true charmer and never missed a beat.

He loved to talk current events, politics and was a truly interesting man. He always greeted me with kiss on the cheek and a kind compliment. "How's the beautiful woman who's mother to 5 spectacular great grandchildren of mine?" he said to me back in May.

I haven't had a grandfather since I turned four years old, so having one when I became an adult was something very special to me. I admired his intellect, his ability to play golf and tennis well into his 80's, his charm and respect as the head of the family.

Back in May of this year he even stood up to give a speech in front of 50 other party goers at his wife's 90th birthday celebration.

Today, around 9a.m. Leon C. Pullen passed away in his sleep. He was 94 years old. You may be reading this thinking my thoughts are scattered all over the place. That's because right now my heart has broken a little. I have had both the privilege and blessing of calling this man my grandpa for the last 8 years. What a gift God gave me after all the years I longed to see my own.

I will miss his smile, his quiet confidence and his presence. It wasn't very often that I got to see him...maybe a few times a year, but I still count those times precious and a blessing to spend that sweet time with a man who lived a very full life. I am thankful that I was able to visit with him back in May and give him a hug; a special time we all had as a family and what great memories I have.

I pray that he is resting in peace. I'll miss you Grandpa Pullen. Thank you for loving and welcoming me into your family with a genuine heart. You are one special, special man.

Love from ALL of us.

Our Precious Little Girl

It's hard to believe that a year ago today I became the mother of FIVE! Mackenzie Kate was born and our lives were forever changed.

Around noon on July 16th there was a knock on the door of my hospital room and in scurried four little children all anxious to meet their new sibling. They all varied in their reactions...

Brett fell in love at first sight. The way he looked at her was priceless. After everyone had a turn holding Mackenzie she somehow found her way back into her biggest brother's arms and was so peaceful there. Noah was so excited we couldn't have wiped that giant grin off his face if we tried. He was so proud to be a big brother again! Dylan was so-so about holding her. He wasn't scared or nervous, just awkward;) Then there was the proud big sister. Madison was SO incredibly shy to even be in the room she curled up next to Grandma and only peeked out when someone spoke to her. I think the whole experience of seeing me in the bed frightened her a bit but to this day she is Mackenzie's biggest fan. The way Madison looks at her lil' sister is nothing short of amazing. There is already a very special bond and so much love.

I'm still in awe sitting here this morning knowing that my baby is ONE YEAR OLD! This time around everything felt "new" again. It felt like I hadn't had a newborn around in ages and was trying hard to remember all the "rules."

Mackenzie is simply the sweetest baby girl. From morning to night she'll snuggle for as long as you'd like. She loves to play with the older kids and follow them around. She was an early crawler and walker and I'm really thankful for that. It really makes this Mama's job easier when she can get to where she wants to go. She rarely cries or has any sort of bad temperament. What a blessing that is when you have four other children to care for also but what great helpers they have all become.

I feel so blessed to be called Mama. I know the heartache some have had trying to bring a new life into this world. It's hard to put into words or comfort those who are longing for a child. Every time I hear one of their stories my heart breaks a little for them. In a friendly conversation with someone I consider to be a good friend she came right out and said "why do you get all these kids and I can't even have one?" I cried for her, I cried with her and I cried praying with this dear friend in my arms. I know the Lord, my mighty Savior, my heavenly Father knows why our lives are planned the way He sees fit. I try not to complain to others about the rough day I've had, how hard a pregnancy was or even about any other aspect of my life. I am blessed by God beyond measure and want to show other's just how thankful I am.

What a blessing and privilege it is to be the mother today of a little one we call Mackenzie Kate. The day she was born our lives changed forever; for the better and I thank God for another miracle. I promise to raise her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and to always tell her of His unfailing love and sacrifice for us. Happy Birthday, baby girl! You are SO loved.

The 4th

I still remember my 4th of Julys as a little girl. We lived in Brookfield right by the Zoo. I grew up on Grand Boulevard and every year the 4th of July parade would come right down our street. We would have all of our extended family over and make a whole day of it.

When I got old enough my parents helped me organize a "lemonade stand" if you will. I sold pop, lemonade and freeze pops. I remember making about $20 once and I thought I'd won the lottery! What amazing memories I have of family and the fourth. Each year I dream and wish for it to be July and now when it actually rolls around I can't believe it arrived so soon!

For the past eight years we have changed venues and began attending the Hinsdale parade with the Laslos'. And, every year we dress all the kids up in their festive gear and make a day of it too. This year Mackenzie landed herself on the front page of the Hinsdalean newspaper. She was a stitch to watch run all around the streets without a care in the world. She watched in awe of all the busyness and somehow fell asleep during sirens and cannon shots. What a doll.

The older kids always have a blast catching candy and waving & interacting with all the parade goers and participators. The last couple of years my parents have attended as well and I think it's even a little more fun to watch the kids watching the parade. What joy & excitement they have for such simple things. It can make any heart happy to see such enjoyment.

We ended our wonderful 4 of July weekend with some of our friends and a BBQ. There's just something so wonderful about summer and I sometimes wish we could just press pause button it.

What We've Been Up To

I've been quite neglectful of this blog for some time now. I start a post only to fall asleep or close my laptop because the thought of finishing anything these days seems too good to be true. This summer has been moving at the speed of light! Here's a small update on our "little" Laslos.

Brett completed the 5th grade this year with flying colors. I thank the Lord everyday for this amazing child. He learned the Oboe this year which is not at all an easy instrument to play. He also competed in the the Spelling Bee an finished an honorable 9th. Along with extraordinary marks on his last report card his tests scores from the state tests prove he is in the 99th percentile in his academics (which mean he scored higher than 99 percent of the students in the whole state of Illinois.) Bragging? Of course! He works so hard at all he does I couldn't be more proud of him.

Brett started the summer attending basketball camp, followed by a sculpture/ceramics art camp and then last week was a part of Willowbrook Warriors soccer camp. He loves engaging himself in all these activities and testing his strength, endurance and creativity. After the 4th of July he took a break and went to Michigan for a week w/ his Dad's side of the family. He's there now and having a blast.

Madison & Noah are getting to experience their first camp this week. They are in an adventure/exploration camp in the woods of Downers Grove. They absolutely LOVED it and couldn't stop telling us of all different senses they used. They learned about wildlife, plants and insects. It's really fun to see them so animated when talking about it.

Dylan has been a little down since he's not old enough for M & N's camp, but yesterday he got to have Grandma Laslo all to himself and attend story time at the library and spend time walking around town with her. Today he's actually spoiled all over again with Grandma H taking him to pet store to buy a new fish for Papa and just a little play time all by himself. He's really lonely without the other two members of the little Laslo tag team, but it's something he need to get used to as they will be gone for 7.5 hours everyday in the fall. It's going to be a learning experience for both of us.

Mackenzie Kate is walking all over the place. She seems to get bigger and smarter every day trying and exploring the world around her. She turns '1' this Friday. Another post for another day about my feelings on that;) She's been a trooper traveling around town to various activities for the little ones.

June was a busy month of zipping here and there and everywhere.

Hawky Fever

Hawk's Win! Hawk's Win! Hawk's Win!




What a great hockey season! This year the kids began to follow the blackhawks. All of them got new skates for Christmas along with some new hockey gear and they loved learning to skate and playing the game.

Dylan can be heard telling complete strangers that his dad is Jonathon Toews and that his favorite player is Marion Hossa...only earlier in the season when he first learned of his favorite players name he was calling him "Mary and Joseph." It was around Christmas time and you have to admit it does similar when say his name;)

James DVR'd all the games if they came on late at night and I got to watch that game again the next morning so all the kids could see. Eventually the weather began to get nicer and the kids could head out into the driveway and play a game of hockey themselves. Our neighbors got to hear our kids rendition of different Hawk's soundtracks. "DA DADA DA DADA DA DA DA DADADADA" always being proclaimed loudly as goal after goal was scored on Illinois Avenue.


The kids finally convinced me to bring out my ipod and play all the songs heard during the game and even some of the goal horn blaring over and over. It has been fun to see their skills develop and improve. We have a goal that the kids use in the driveway and my uncle gave the kids a whole bunch of different street hockey equipment. Our neighbors have a lot of the same gear and the kids go from game to game in the evenings. It's pretty fun to watch.


I can't believe it's already the end of June. This summer is flying by.

Monkey See Monkey Do

It seems like our sweet baby girl was born just yesterday. Today at almost 11 months, Mackenzie Kate is amazing us everyday.

I made the official call to skip her 9 month check up so I don't have any stats. Unofficially she is about 24 lbs. and growing everyday. She's had her shots but this household has been so busy and we have been blessed with incredibly healthy kids...that the extra money I would be shelling out for co pays was put to better use. After one has five children you learn it's not always necessary to make all those appointments. It's also easier to drive 4 blocks to the health dept. to get a couple shots. I can gage she's growing just fine. At 10 months I had to pull out size 18-24 month clothing!

She has been saying recognizable words for some time now...dada, madi, bye bye, ucky...etc. BUT after my 6 day trip to Florida last weekend her vocab has already expanded! Now she not only has some of her own core words that she uses but has begun to repeat words! I squealed with delight (and scared her in the process) after she got her dinner plate and said "hot dog" ;) I just love this age where they are learning every second and trying out their new skills in different ways. She picks up her cellphone and says "hello" and often calls for "oh-ah" aka Noah. She claps, waddles and laughs most of the day away.

One big development last month was that she began taking her first steps. Now she will get up all by herself in the middle of the floor and walk a few feet before she remembers it would be much quicker to crawl;) One day last week I saw Dylan pretending to eat her play food and minutes later she was pretending to do the same! I just love this age of discovery and 'Monkey see Monkey do'. We call her "Kenzie bug" because for months now she has made a bee sound to one of her toys. So, her birthday party theme is going to be lady bugs.

Hard to believe next month we will be celebrating Mackenzie's 1st birthday. What an exciting year we've had. She is the just the sweetest little blessing and has added even more joy to our family.

So Much To Do...So Little Time

In less than 72 hours I will be in sunny Florida. That thought is rather frightening and delightful all at the same time!

I am going to go to New Smyrna Beach to celebrate James' Grandma's 90th birthday. Just typing that sentence is really quite amazing...90!

It's been a long time since I last had either of my grandmas. My grandma Grace was one of the most special people in the world to me. It's been 14 years since she passed. I can still put myself back in her arms if I close my eyes and smell a piece of Extra Spearmint gum. The smell of roast and potatoes cooking can take me back to Sunday dinners as a little girl. I miss her. I miss her hugs, her humming voice, the sleepovers watching late night Nick at Nite and most of all, just her. I wish so much she could have been here to see my kids. Her faith and love for the Lord was always so evident as she lived her life. I know she is rejoicing in glory with our Redeemer and that's my peace.

My grandma Koch was special too; a real one-of-a-kind She was a true Matriarch of the family. She was respected and loved and never stopped. She was loud, very loud. I used to get embarrassed to have her at my concerts, games and events because her cheering was borderline obnoxious. It wasn't until I was in high school I realized how much I really loved it and just how lucky I was to have her. The day of my grandma Grace's funeral I was supposed to play in a sectional soccer game for school. This was a HUGE game. I had worked all year for it! My grandma Koch offered to be the one to take me to it since my parents couldn't really leave. I don't remember anything else about that game but hearing her cheer SO loudly for me. The joy my heart felt was like no other. It was a special time for the two of us. She was the one there for me that day. She passed a little over four months later.

So, getting to celebrate a birthday for a grandma who is turning 90 is HUGE! I can't wait to be a part of it. Grandma Pullen is quite the lady. She is an amazing artist, world traveler, golfer, refined theatre/opera lover and I feel privileged to be able to call her my grandma. It's going to be a weekend packed full of celebration. When she parties she parties BIG. For her 85th birthday she had a marching band!

BUT...being a wife and mother of 5, as the time is nearing I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I feel like I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. James will be staying home with kids while I'm gone so I want to make sure he doesn't have anything to worry about besides them. The laundry, cleaning, packing, bills and summer camp forms all need to be taken care of in the next 2 days. I'm excited and nervous as this will be the first time I am away from all the kids. I think it's a much need "mommy break." My sister is going to be going with me to Florida. We have rented a condo for the week and are also calling this trip a sisters retreat. The two of us have never gone away together and I can't wait! We need this time together, too. Watch out Florida here we come!

Spring

I can't quite put into words just how much I love this time of year. Spring comes in at a very close second to my love of summer;) Why do I love spring? Why NOT? The trees all budding and flowering, the cool crisp air in the morning along with multitudes of birds singing and the smell of freshly cut grass in the afternoons are all reminders to me of the goodness of God. It also means a trip to the greenhouse is nearing.

I just love the first trip to the greenhouse for spring/summer planting. The choices are endless and my artistic side must learn to coexist with my budget. That's no easy task. I will never fully understand why plants must cost so much, but won't complain too much because I know that the income they produce for planting feeds, clothes and gives our family shelter.

I can't even think about the greenhouse without remembering the first time I met James. I was working on pricing some terra cotta pots and my workday was creeping along. Then James came in, walked past me, flashed a smile and that was it. I was smitten and rest is history.

Vern Goers Greenhouse has got to be one of the most beautiful places in the world during the spring. The feeling you get walking in can be almost intimidating. The variety of plants, flowers and vegetables seems almost endless. Just the drive into the parking lot brings back sweet memories for me too...the gravel under your tires, the sight of God's artistic array of color and a few familiar faces all produce a little high inside of me. Kind of like a kid in a candy store.


The greenhouse also holds a place in my heart few may know. I spent a particularly hard few months there back in the winter/spring of 2003. There was much going on in my life at that time. I spend nearly 8 hours a day completely alone in one of the greenhouses transplanting. It was in that time that I really felt God pulling me closer. I listened to WMBI Moody radio faithfully during those 8 hours and the gift of some amazingly powerful preaching poured into me. Each day I longed to hear the truths that were being spoken as my heart grew more tender and less hard. There were many days my mind wanted to stray to worry and anxious thoughts tried to consume me. But, in those times of quiet business, I heard the Lord telling me of His unfailing love, strength and faithfulness. It was only through Him that I made it through those dark times.

I am grateful that those are only memories for me now. I can no longer feel the hurt that was so deep inside me. The desperation that I felt was replace with peace. So, as I think of spring and the greenhouse I also remember that of time of new renewed faith & trust. The greenhouse has always been a place of new beginings...not only in the life of the flower but in my own. Thank you, sweet Jesus.

In the next few weeks I cannot wait to see, touch and smell the beautiful display that will surround our home. Spring is here! The kids can't wait to get their hands dirty too. They love nothing more than help their daddy work and I believe that there is no sweeter sight than seeing them so proud of all they've done. Happy planting!

Who's the Boss?

Who's the boss? This is a question I've found myself asking inside my head quite often lately. It seems I am teaching the children, oh, ten times a day about obeying their parents....is it working? Not so much all the time. We seem to have the same conversation over and over. Finally, tonight I actually muttered the words out loud. "...because I'm the boss."

It's not something I'm proud of *grinning* but it just kind of came to me. I was so tired today of them asking 'why' they had to be doing all the things that they should be doing I thought I would just throw the phrase out there once. Well, of course it didn't make any sense to the kids. They know that Grandpa Laslo is their Daddy's boss and they told me it was silly that I would think that I was their boss. But I am, right?


Well, this too got me thinking. I am supposed to be the boss but the more I got to thinking somehow I wasn't so sure. My children are the ones who determine my work day or my schedule so to speak. My children are also the ones who determine when my "breaks" are; when I eat, go to the restroom and even when I get to use the phone. They seem to be the CFO too. They are the ones who sort of set the budget. The kids are the ones who let me know when it's time to buy new things. Holes in their shoes, pants, stains on the carpet and how much food I need to buy. So who's the boss now?

I am continually learning each day how to effectively steward, protect and teach these little ones in my care. I never took a course or graduated with a degree in this area. I just pray that God continues to work in me and that these children I have been blessed with learn to obey and play all while glorifying Him.

Five Times Two

It was a beautiful spring day in Hinsdale. At just about 6 a.m. on April 15th, 2005 I was checking into the hospital, and by 8:38 a.m. our lives had been changed forever. We were no longer a family of three but now a family of FIVE! Madison Grace was born first and weighed 6 lbs. 11oz. & Noah James followed and weighed 7 lbs. 1 oz. I could hardly believe that this day had come! As I laid in recovery after an unbelievably quick C-section I was in awe. It was a long road I travelled carrying twins and I was so glad it was over and I was able to hold two precious, perfectly healthy babies.

I can still remember watching James handle both of them in those first few hours. I couldn't do much because I just had surgery, but immediately, after not having any experience with any of this before, James became a natural. In the first few hours of that day I can't remember much but I do remember we received visitor after visitor. I couldn't believe just how many people came to greet the newest members of the Laslo family. But...one thing our family and friends would have to wait 24 hours later for were their names.

Since we didn't want to find out and had absolutely no idea what the babies sex would be we didn't have "set" names right away. It took us well into the evening while staring into their two precious faces to properly give them names. I hate the idea of naming a baby before you see them and meet them. You need to be able to gather a bit of personality from them first. So, no surprise now, but we named them Madison Grace, Grace after my grandmother (and mother) and Noah James, James after, well....James.

The days of caring for infant twins is a complete blur to me. Feeding two babies, sleeping little, bathing them, changing countless diapers, dressing them and getting three children where we needed to go was busy, but looking back now I'd say it went well. We all survived and I'm here today to tell about it;) Over the last five years I could not even have imagined who these little people have turned into. They still amaze and surprise me.

Madison is such a girly girl. She loves to dress up and play pretend. Madison is like a "mini me." She loves to do anything and everything I do. She is always helpful and polite and sometimes shy. Madison is also the comedian of the crew. She is always saying something clever and making me laugh most of the time I want to be serious. Even being as girly as she is she would choose to play soccer or baseball over dolls any day....all while wearing a dress;) She is incredibly coordinated and quick. Madison Grace seems to always have a sneaky little smile on her face.

Noah, or "NoahJamesLaslo" as he calls himself is a pretty typical little boy. He loves to work. Noah has a few tool boxes full of tools that make their way into just about every room. Whenever their is a job to do he is front and center. He is even big enough now to reach into James tool bench/drawers and identify and find us any tool we may need. He really loves learning facts. He is a very protective big brother and is just the sweetest little boy when it comes to his baby sister. Every morning since Mackenzie was born, the minute I bring her down in the morning, Noah is there to give her a hug & kiss and say "good mornin' Kenz." He has such a tender heart.

My little double team is about to turn five tomorrow. I think I can't believe it! They are all registered for kindergarten in the fall and they are both excited to go on "Brett's bus." I can still remember carrying two messy little toddlers up for nap at the same time...one in each arm. I can still hear them giggling themselves to sleep and the sound of them jumping and shaking their cribs in unison to let me know they were up for the day. The days of taking turns giving them bites of food as they each sat in their exersaucers (bc they would scream if one had to wait) and watching all their firsts...crawling, walking, talking...and I don't know if I am really ready to stand there at the corner on their first day of school and wave good bye to them. I want to be ready. I want a little extra time in my day to tend to some things around the house and spend some more time with the two littlest, but, I know I'm going to be sad. How do I already know? I have tears making their way down my cheeks just thinking about it.

What a privilege and blessing it is to be the mom of such amazing little ones. I am so proud of who they are becoming. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for them. They have grown so much as little people and grown in their knowledge of God and His love for them. My prayer for them is that they will continue to grow in Him and seek Him throughout their lives and develop a personal relationship with their Savior. So, Happy Birthday Madi & Noah! I love you more than words can explain and I love being your Mama!

April Showers

April is usually a pretty busy month for us and one that is usually determined and planned while avoiding the April showers. This month so much is happening I can hardly keep it all straight. We had such a wonderful Easter last weekend. My parents came to our church in the morning to hear the kids sing. Just a week earlier as the children paraded through the sanctuary waving their palm branches, Madison almost wore a hole in the carpet dragging her feet and slithering through. She simply cannot stand people staring at her. But, on Easter morning I promised her that I would stand in the back so she could see me, and BOY was I surprised!!!

My beautiful little girl not only stood up there without covering her face but she also smiled with her whole little self and sang! I was standing in the back the whole time just glowing. The sound of all those little voices raising praises to our King was just amazing! I think I was fighting back tears nearly the entire time just watching Madison step out of her shell and watching her knowing she was so proud of herself. What a great morning.

After church we went to my uncle's house for our last big Holiday get together before he moves. He's not going far by any means, but the Engbers house was our "holiday" house growing up. Such wonderful memories of dinners, birthdays and sleepovers. I sure will miss going there but the Lord knows it's a time for change. I'm just glad my kids could be a part of the tradition of such wonderful time spent with family and friends there.

Uncle Doug or "Uncle Dog" as the kids cal him never disappoints. He always has something up his sleeve. This year as he knew he'd be moving he tried to get us to take home an extremely large organ that graced his living room for some time now. He even sat down at one point and was playing stadium songs with the kids and told them it would be fun to have at our house so we could learn all the Chicago Blackhawk music. Maybe even a future for one of our little Blackhawk fanatics? After all the organ playing and having a piece of the lamb cake the kids were ready to head out and hunt for Easter eggs. When all the baskets were full and the kids were quietly sneaking candy we got ready to head to our next destination....the Laslos'.

Thankfully the weather the gorgeous and when we arrived there the kids got to go on another hunt. Just as they were finishing up collecting the last of the eggs the giant rain drops began to fall. Luckily we moved everyone inside before the true storm rolled in. There was thunder that shook the house and lightning that illuminated the heavens. Round two of dessert followed and the kids of course snuck more of their candy. I'm pretty sure Dylan has been doing so for days now. Every time I see him he is chewing on something. Mr. Honesty even asked me to move his basket further on the counter so he couldn't reach it...maybe he finally got a tummy ache;)


Well, this week we finally had the new swing set installed. I LOVE IT! For the past two days we have watched the kids explore and play on their new equipment. It was a surprise for all of them. After it was installed I have to admit I wandered into the backyard and tried it out. I think it';s been a while since I've been on swing and I loved every minute of it! The biggest attraction to the kids is the tire swing. We even had to have Dylan lay down a bit after riding he was on for so long and got a bit too dizzy.

Now we are onto the countdown before we have two little ones turning 5! I'm in a bit of denial about it and I'll share it in another post, but for now it's planning week. We have a party in works for Sunday afternoon and hope the weather cooperates. I'd rather have two dozen people outside enjoying the day than inside bumping into one another;)

Spring

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Out of the Mouth of Babes

So, this morning when the kids woke up (at a ridiculously early hour) the first thing they all wanted was breakfast. One might think I never feed my children by the way they are always asking for something to eat, but I promise I do. So...at 6:20 this a.m. I poured everyone a bowl of their favorite cereal and we began our day.


During breakfast Noah suddenly pushed his bowl away. I could tell he was upset about something. Naturally I asked him what was wrong and this was his reply, "last night Dylan woke me up and told me to stop snoring." I told him it was okay because sometimes I have to tell Daddy to stop snoring. Noah looked at me for a second and a few tears began to drip from his eyes and he said to me "but I never snored before and I wanted to hear it."


I sometimes wonder how their little minds work. After we got through the devastation of not hearing his first snore he was ready for breakfast. And, while I was making breakfast Dylan chimed in with one of his famous stories. Today's story was about when he was a little girl. Dylan told me that he's pretty sure when he was a little girl he was my best friend. I asked him how he was sure of that and he replied "I always wanted to be best friend with such a pretty girl." Thanks, Dylan!

I can always count on my kids for a little honesty. A couple nights ago I took a shower right before bed and went to bed with semi-wet hair. For those who don't know I have pretty naturally curly hair. So, when I woke up in the morning I had a pretty good curl fro going. The first thing the kids said to me when I came downstairs was that I looked pretty funny. One of my children even felt the need to tell me it was ok if I wanted to go back upstairs to "fix" it. Most of the time they have a way of making this Mama feel pretty beautiful. Sometimes when I wear a cover up or nightgown they tell me I look beautiful in my "dress." In those times I know I've never felt prettier or had a bigger smile on my face.

These children that God has given me are such a blessing. They are a gift and I treasure them and their sweet words.

In Like a Lion Out Like a Lamb

I was slightly confused when I woke up this morning. Yesterday afternoon the kids and I played outside in shorts and t-shirts and this morning as I looked out the window our yard was covered in snow! I'm pretty sure Chicago forgot to check the calendar to find it was supposed to be the first day of spring.

Well, it's 10 pm and still precipitating. Looking outside and seeing the tulips sprouting through the snow just doesn't seem right. There are many houses down our block that had such beautiful crocuses filling their yards. Spring? Please come soon.

This winter seems to be dragging on forever. I long for the fresh scent of spring to arrive in all it's glory. I want to see green grass and mulititudes of color springing from the ground. I am however reminded when I see the snow of God's goodness and grace. The fresh white blanket of snow is a reminder that my sins have been washed as white as the snow.

So, for now I will take this day as a great reminder. While the days last week brought out the flip flops, sunglasses and bikes and I was so very thankful to open a few windows...sadly it didn't press upon my heart to be thankful for God's gift of His Son and His sacrifice for us in a reminder the way this one day of snow did.

I will now stop complaining and get to bed and dream of the days ahead. But, today I am thankful for this great reminder and to my Savior for dying on a cold lonely cross to save me from my sins. I am also thankful for the sermon a great man named Dennis Mitchell preached from the word this week...so fitting.

A Walk on the Other Side of the Street

Today was absolutely gorgeous in Chicagoland! The sun was shining without a cloud in the sky and I believe the temperature was around 64 degrees. It doesn't get any better than that here in March.

The 3 middle kids had a play date this afternoon so while they were gone and Brett was in school I decided there was no better option than to take Mackenzie for a stroller ride. First of all I realized that I could really use a single jogging stroller. We currently have a triple jogger that I used for Madi, Noah & Dylan, but this time around I only need a one seater. The sidewalks around our block are a little treacherous for our regular stroller.

It just so happened that improved the sidewalks on the opposite side of the street and put in some new ones down Madison Street so Mackenzie and I took a different route today. So as we ventured to the "other side" we also encountered some new neighbors. As we rounded the corner I met Val & Kathy. Val is my age and her and her husband just purchased a house that had been for sale for about 2 years now and Kathy & her husband just moved into the house across the street from Val. They moved into a ranch home so Kathy's husband could maneuver around better without stairs. She explained to me that he was sick and passed just about 3 months ago. She also told me that her daughter and son in law along with 2 grandchildren live just 5 houses away. Yet, in Kathy's very next sentence she said to me "now I've got nothing to live for..I'm completely lost."

Wow, I only met her minutes earlier and here we were, in a conversation bigger and heavier than I ever could ever have expected. Holding back tears the first thing I could say was "your family is so close and grand kids are the best!...now that's something to live for." She agreed hesitantly. But...what I was really thinking and feeling was that she needed the Lord so much in that moment. Why couldn't I spit out that truth to her? Why was I holding back? Since 3 o'clock this afternoon I have been struggling with what I should have said.

I have been praying for her since that moment. And, now that I think about it, I'm not even sure that her name is Kathy...I will find out, but I am absolutely horrible with new names. I am asking if you read this blog if you would please pray for her, and me. The next time you see me would you mind asking me how things are with her? Will you please hold me accountable? I am going to be picking her up a new ESV Bible at church this week and plan on presenting it to her as soon I can. I want to also see if I can bring her a meal or some just stop in with some goodies. I could feel her loneliness. I think I still can.

The rest our walk was peaceful. Mackenzie stayed awake for over an hour. She even kept her little sunglasses on...thanks Dr. Barnes;) After we returned home we pulled out our picnic blanket in the shade in the front yard and it was simply wonderful. Mackenzie is such a sweet girl. We rolled around, she climbed all over me and we pulled grass together and played 'Yuck! Don't put that in your mouth' as she giggled uncontrollably.

After all the kids came home and James rolled in the driveway we continued to enjoy the weather until dinner. At one point Madison & Noah were playing ball and Madi lost control and it rolled into the street. Noah put his arm out across Madi's chest and told her he'd get it for her. He retrieved the ball and I heard the sweetest words and witnessed a moment I won't forget for a very long time. Noah said to her "anytime you need me for your whole life I'll be there for ya." Nothing melts this Mama's heart like moments like those. She just grinned at me like she knew how special that was.

This is the Stuff Dreams are Made of...

I definitely know winter MUST be nearing its end. Last night I had my first dream of summer. It's not often that I can remember my dreams, but last night was kind of a sleepless night so after my dream I had some time to lay in bed and process.

The setting? Beautiful Beulah, Michigan. I don't really remember many specifics about the dream, but I did wake up and could smell the Michigan air, hear the waves, feel the soft summer breeze and I know I was relaxed. Almost every year around this time I think about how much I would give for it to be July/August in Michigan. There's really nowhere I'd rather be. And, when I am there I almost can't believe it because I've looked forward to it for so long. Almost a whole year.

The sounds of jet skis in the early morning hours, laying in bed at night listening to the waves gently crash onto the sand and the fresh air that blows right through the entire house....that is summer to me. Since my very first trip to Beulah eight years ago, it's one place that I will never forget. I can remember our first trip up north. Brett had just turned 3 and for the full two weeks he lived in the water. Everyone nicknamed him "the fish" because he wanted to swim from dawn 'til dusk, not caring for one second that at times the lake was simply freezing.

I have so many wonderful memories it's hard to even pick out a favorite, but as I write this one thing does come to mind. It was a wonderful August night. James and I were able to sneak away to Traverse City for the day alone while Grandpa & Grandma Laslo took Brett out for the day. The two of us went canoeing down the Platte, stopped for lunch in a cafe, para sailed on Lake Michigan, rented a SeaDoo speed boat and took a long summer's night drive along the Lake. At one point in the night I mentioned that our vacation was nearing its end and there was still so much to do! I still remember James telling me that we would have plenty of time to do those things next time and in the years to come with our own family. Our own family...that certainly had a nice ring to it and at that time had absolutely no idea that 8 years later we would be going back to Michigan with our very own family of SEVEN!

Isn't it just amazing how God works? The way he so carefully plans each and every aspect of our lives? I so thankful and blessed to be surrounded by these five beautiful children God has given us. They make every new experience something exciting and I absolutely love seeing these experiences through their eyes. They have so many questions they want to know to learn all they can. It puts such joy in my heart when they see and get to do new things with such awe and wonder. Children seem to really make the best out of every experience and situation.

I'd have to say it one of the best and quite possibly one of the most disappointing dreams I've had in a while. I cannot WAIT for summer this year. I think our winter has been extra long and we're all dying for a little fun in the sun...only a little over a hundred days until we meet again, Pure Michigan.

Valentine's Day (another "late" forgotten post;)

This year even though Valentine's Day fell on February 14th just like every other year, James & I almost missed it.

The last few weeks have been so that busy we decided to postpone a special night out for the two of us until late February. I know many people feel that it is a Hallmark holiday but it does have history. I have a child who lives & breathes history so I feel that I know a little something on the subject but I think I will spare you and myself from the story bc it's not exactly all about love. I'll leave it up to wikpedia to explain to all who are interested.

Since our first Valentine's James has always surprised me & spoiled me rotten on Valentines Day. For every holiday, birthday or special even my amazing husband has given me a hand-written note or card. I have saved each and every one. I still have the post-it note that was stuck to my door the night we got engaged that read "I love you. I bought you a little something. Please pick out something to wear for dinner tonight." After reading that note I opened the door to my room and round red rose petals on the floor spelling out 'I love you' and they were even on the bed along with a large box with a ribbon.

The funny thing is I didn't think anything of it. James has always been so sweet and really goes all out I thought we were just going out for a nice dinner...I had no idea he was about to scare the pants off me and appear in the doorway with a ring box! (I thought I was home alone after a long day at work;) Oh, and I said 'yes' by the way.

Another example of his sweetness was last spring. I was working at the TCS resale and had been there late into the evening. I was supposed to be home earlier to pick up dinner for the two of us, but that didn't happen. I called James on the way home and asked if he wanted me to pick up some dessert. He said no. So, I just drove home expecting to eat some leftovers and I almost fell over when I walked in the house. Not that I expected the house to be completely unruly, but it was shinning like the top of the Chrysler building and as I walked into the kitchen...I had no words. There in the kitchen was a beautiful table for two, complete with lit candles, a beautiful place setting and an amazing bouquet of flowers in the center. I was speechless! James knew I would be exhausted and hungry and he prepared me a feast of (my fav) crab cakes and a wonderful salad. He even picked up dessert! Thankful he's mine and blessed to be his. He is always thinking of me.

Well, this Vday was no different. I received the sweetest card and a beautiful little bouquet of pink roses & gerber daisies.... my favorite! And we even made it out to dinner by the end of the month to our favorite restaurant.

These days our life doesn't exactly give us much time for candlelight dinners alone, but I know neither of us would change it for the world.

Mia

Well, I just found this post that never got posted....My parents pup passed suddenly right before Christmas:

A little over 13 years ago we welcomed a little chow/black lab mix pup into our home. I got to name her Mia. What a playful puppy she was. She was only five weeks old when we got her and she had an extremely playful spirit.

Mia had this funny quirky run. She would run with her head cocked to one side. Mia was a dog that simply adored people. She would lick you until you had to finally run away. From a little pup to a 100lb. dog she was a part of our family...much to the dismay of our mom, we even gave her a middle name. Lisa & I knew her name was officially Mia Grace;)

Over the years she never changed. Always happy to see anyone that walked through the door at my parents house. Even though she was dealing with a bit of arthritis these days and was hard for her to even walk at times, she would get off her comfy pillow to greet me. A couple of days ago I stopped over to use my parents printer. It was a quick trip, but on my way in I bent down to give her a little head rub. She of course rolled over so I could rub her belly and I did for a second, but told her I was in a hurry.

Ever feel really guilty? I felt horrible thinking about 48 hours earlier. I wish I would have rubbed her belly for an hour and given her a real kiss and not just an air kiss. Mia never let me down. Anytime I needed a pick-me-up she was right there front and center to give me nothing but uncondtional love and attention. She was around 100lbs.full grown but you could find her snuggled up on the couch with my mom at night. She thought she was a tiny lap dog.

After I moved out and got married I really missed Mia. She was there on nights when I was home alone and days when I needed a big black furry pillow. Over the last few years I don't think she was very pleased with me for producing little dog hair-pullers. She pretty much allowed the kids to see her, then made a quick exit for a bed upstairs where she couldn't be bothered. The only part of them she liked was the part where they gave her unlimited dog biscuits when Grandma wasn't looking.


Mia really was the best dog a family could ask for. Even though she once chewed apart half of a dozen of my favorite shirts when they slid off the drying rack into her cage, left giant balls of black hair that got on most everything we owned and even the fact that she would nearly break your legs trying to climb up and cuddle...Mia was the sweetest dog and a great friend.


We'll miss you Mia girl!

Legoland

Last week was Noah's turn to go on a date with Mom. I surprised him and took him to a place I knew he would love...Legoland. It was a perfect fit! Noah just loves Legos. James and I got him a few sets for Christmas and ever day since he pulls them out at some point in the day.

As we walked in the first exhibit we saw was the skyline of Chicago completely made out of Legos. There were even some mechanics involved and cars were driving, people were walking the lakefront and even boats entering the harbor.

Next we walked into a room with some lifesize figures. We saw Batman, some Star Wars characters and even a giant santa complete with presents all made from Legos. We then proceeded to go on a ride I would would compare to "It's a Small World" at Dinsney World. It was themed what I can only describe as 'old world dragon' and it was pretty cool. There were skeletons, a 30 ft. dragon and all the people/town were, you guesseed it, all made out of Legos.

Ater the ride we went upstairs and saw a 3D movie about a Lego town. Noah had to take his glasses off a couple times because there were all sorts of flying birds, insects and even a sword that cam pretty close to our faces;) Across the hall was a small room that they had replicated the process of how a Lego is made. A small girl acting like a goofy professor walked us through the process and in the end Noah walked up to her in all seriousness and told her "you are really smart." Too cute.

After all the info we took in it was time to get down to business. There is a playroom compete with a dozen tables of Legos. They are where kids can get their creative juices flowing. Noah has a blast buidling race cars and racing them down one of the many different ramps derby style. I thought were going to spend the night. I couldn't get him to leave.

Our last stop was to the gift shop. Noah got to choose a Lego set to take home and he picked a firetruck. I think it has over 250 pieces. The two of us had a great time together! On our way out we said goodbye to President Obama and headed home BUT not before a nice little Portillos dinner. After dinner I even suprised Noah and got him a piece of their chocolate cake. His chocoa smile was adorable and he grinned form ear to ear during the whole piece. What a special date with a special little boy I had.

Is There Such a Thing as an "Un-working Mom?"

Today as I was making lunch for the little ones while emptying the dishwasher, making a bottle and putting postage on all our bills I remembered a conversation I had with a fellow parent at school last week. She mentioned that we should check with the working moms on a time to have a meeting. I didn't really think anything of it, but today as I was busy in the kitchen I thought to myself..."Is there really such a thing as a mom that doesn't work?" AND, while the kids were eating I sat down at the table with my laptop and checked my email and updated my status on facebook as to my thoughts on the subject.

I knew exactly what she meant, but also thought it is time to come up with a new term for mom's that also work outside the home in a corporate setting. So, when I put in my status that I wondered if there was such a thing as an un-working mother, my thought was that the words 'working' and 'mother' were one in the same. Simple as that. I personally wasn't offended or appalled, it was just a topic got got me thinking.

So, after the kids were in bed this evening and I got back to my email I was pretty surprised to see all the responses! I would also like to take a moment to respond:

I never meant to hurt any one's feelings and I apologize if you felt the need to explain, defend or justify your decision. That was never my intent and I would hope that you never feel the need to defend you job as a mother. I received quite a few messages asking me to explain. I truly believe that there is no greater joy & blessing than to be a mother. The days are long, the tasks sometimes seem tedious, there is no income, often not many thanks, there can be much heartache and worry, BUT the reward is great.

I grew up in a home where my own mother worked. She worked in the evenings and on weekends to make ends meet. My parents sacrificed much to give us even more. When we would ask my parents why we couldn't have a bigger house or fancier car they always told us it was because they sent us to a private school. I can even remember many times telling them I would be fine to attend a public school, and it wasn't until my young adult life that I realized just what a sacrifice it was and just how much they would do for us.

I admire mothers that work outside the home. I often think about my friends that have to get up out of their houses for hours and hours and then come home to a house in need. I respect those that spend years finishing degrees and those that they are hopefully doing something that they love. I used to work full time outside the house for a little over five years with my oldest. I can remember thinking "how lucky" the moms who got to stay home all day with their kids really were! All I thought about all day was being home with my little boy, but knew if I didn't work we would have no place to live, food to eat, no diapers or car. It was completely necessary that I work full time while attending college. I only saw my little one for about 5 hours a day. I understand completely that situation.

I also admire women who don't work outside the home. The ones that take care of the needs of their families from the inside full time. When my oldest went off to kindergarten I was able to quit my job and work at home full time. I understand that this too can seem glamorous. I don't think I fully understood what it all entailed. I thought for sure I'd be able to catch Oprah now and then;) Now, as a mother of five I cannot believe the workload! My days usually start before 6 a.m. and before I know it it's usually 10p.m. in no time. Bathing children, dressing them, preparing 3 meals, being their teacher, disciplinarian, nurse, referee, doing the grocery shopping, the carpooling, the cleaning, the laundry and still making time to play with and love my kids is no easy task. Some days I think to myself "I am not cut out for this!"


Thankfully, I have a God who is faithful, loving and patient who is molding me and teaching me every day to be the person to fulfill all of this. I am still learning each new day.


I would just like to say that I love each of you...close friends or distant acquaintances. I think that you are all wonderful mothers and I know you do all you can to love and raise your kids the best way you can. It's important to support each other and let each other know just how great a job we think they do. I know each of us would do anything for our little ones and know that whatever you are doing....wherever you are...you are doing the best.

I never knew how much love my heart could hold...until someone called me "mom."