Today as I was making lunch for the little ones while emptying the dishwasher, making a bottle and putting postage on all our bills I remembered a conversation I had with a fellow parent at school last week. She mentioned that we should check with the working moms on a time to have a meeting. I didn't really think anything of it, but today as I was busy in the kitchen I thought to myself..."Is there really such a thing as a mom that doesn't work?" AND, while the kids were eating I sat down at the table with my laptop and checked my email and updated my status on facebook as to my thoughts on the subject.
I knew exactly what she meant, but also thought it is time to come up with a new term for mom's that also work outside the home in a corporate setting. So, when I put in my status that I wondered if there was such a thing as an un-working mother, my thought was that the words 'working' and 'mother' were one in the same. Simple as that. I personally wasn't offended or appalled, it was just a topic got got me thinking.
So, after the kids were in bed this evening and I got back to my email I was pretty surprised to see all the responses! I would also like to take a moment to respond:
I never meant to hurt any one's feelings and I apologize if you felt the need to explain, defend or justify your decision. That was never my intent and I would hope that you never feel the need to defend you job as a mother. I received quite a few messages asking me to explain. I truly believe that there is no greater joy & blessing than to be a mother. The days are long, the tasks sometimes seem tedious, there is no income, often not many thanks, there can be much heartache and worry, BUT the reward is great.
I grew up in a home where my own mother worked. She worked in the evenings and on weekends to make ends meet. My parents sacrificed much to give us even more. When we would ask my parents why we couldn't have a bigger house or fancier car they always told us it was because they sent us to a private school. I can even remember many times telling them I would be fine to attend a public school, and it wasn't until my young adult life that I realized just what a sacrifice it was and just how much they would do for us.
I admire mothers that work outside the home. I often think about my friends that have to get up out of their houses for hours and hours and then come home to a house in need. I respect those that spend years finishing degrees and those that they are hopefully doing something that they love. I used to work full time outside the house for a little over five years with my oldest. I can remember thinking "how lucky" the moms who got to stay home all day with their kids really were! All I thought about all day was being home with my little boy, but knew if I didn't work we would have no place to live, food to eat, no diapers or car. It was completely necessary that I work full time while attending college. I only saw my little one for about 5 hours a day. I understand completely that situation.
I also admire women who don't work outside the home. The ones that take care of the needs of their families from the inside full time. When my oldest went off to kindergarten I was able to quit my job and work at home full time. I understand that this too can seem glamorous. I don't think I fully understood what it all entailed. I thought for sure I'd be able to catch Oprah now and then;) Now, as a mother of five I cannot believe the workload! My days usually start before 6 a.m. and before I know it it's usually 10p.m. in no time. Bathing children, dressing them, preparing 3 meals, being their teacher, disciplinarian, nurse, referee, doing the grocery shopping, the carpooling, the cleaning, the laundry and still making time to play with and love my kids is no easy task. Some days I think to myself "I am not cut out for this!"
Thankfully, I have a God who is faithful, loving and patient who is molding me and teaching me every day to be the person to fulfill all of this. I am still learning each new day.
I would just like to say that I love each of you...close friends or distant acquaintances. I think that you are all wonderful mothers and I know you do all you can to love and raise your kids the best way you can. It's important to support each other and let each other know just how great a job we think they do. I know each of us would do anything for our little ones and know that whatever you are doing....wherever you are...you are doing the best.
I never knew how much love my heart could hold...until someone called me "mom."
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